Quote Originally Posted by thir View Post
I am sometimes wondering if - I don't know - if much thought is steered by wishful thinking. By longing.

If we have a wish for how we would like to be treated, maybe we tend to think that our partner must somehow be the mirroring of our desires. But we are all so different!

What if your partner is totally satisfied with what she has? The actual physical expression of dominance is so different from person to person. Maybe it is not something she does not have in her, not a lack, but simply her profile?

In general, not talking about you or anything here:

you often hear about a sub or a dom who thinks their partner is not a real sub or dom, simply because they do not exactly match your own desires.
I think it is a problem in many cases and could destroy potentially good relationships. However, if you can accept differences maybe you can learn to deal with them?
That really does make a lot of sense, thank you for that reply. She does seem quite happy and satisfied. I try to go to extreme lengths to figure out what she likes and so far, what I have learned is that she needs someone to care for her, love her, and most of all, respect her. We are both professionals and work hard. So our play-time is limited. Sometimes, I think what makes her the happiest is when I do the majority of the housework before she has a chance to get to it. Tends to make her sparkle a little bit. Then, some TLC does the rest. She is the best thing to ever happen to me and I want nothing more than to further her happiness. She does admit my fantasies are kinky and she loves kinky but she says she is just not good at it. It's all kind of weird so I just keep searching for those little things that bring a smile to her face.

I also liked your previous post about seeing three different perspectives and not really being able to understand the mindset of each. I guess it really is a completely individual thing for each and every one of us.