Quote Originally Posted by davina_ View Post
Actually, I think I know exactly what you are saying. And we do that now, kind of trade off. Everything is pretty good except I sometimes wonder what it would be like if she was "really" dominant. She is just so darn sweet and wonderful all the time, (unless you put a sterring wheel in her hand, LOL). She loves the feeling of power when she uses a strapon on me but she just doesn't have it in her to really be dominant and forceful with me. I think she just doubts herself too much.
I am sometimes wondering if - I don't know - if much thought is steered by wishful thinking. By longing.

If we have a wish for how we would like to be treated, maybe we tend to think that our partner must somehow be the mirroring of our desires. But we are all so different!

What if your partner is totally satisfied with what she has? The actual physical expression of dominance is so different from person to person. Maybe it is not something she does not have in her, not a lack, but simply her profile?

In general, not talking about you or anything here:

you often hear about a sub or a dom who thinks their partner is not a real sub or dom, simply because they do not exactly match your own desires.
I think it is a problem in many cases and could destroy potentially good relationships. However, if you can accept differences maybe you can learn to deal with them?