Quote Originally Posted by brwneydgirl View Post
I understand this response to the original issue and maybe it will work wonderfully but this smacks of "topping from the bottom" or of the sub bargaining for what she wants. I think it would probably leave her feeling unfulfilled.

Maybe it's just me.
I think this depends on just what kind of 'power frame' or ideology or kind of submission is behing the wish for whipping and bondage.

As I see it, the most important thing is not what is actually done, but the feelings and ideas behind them. For example, say you could look into 3 different homes and there see the same picture: a person being whipped by another person. But in pic 1 it might be a slave being whipped by a master or mistress in a 24/7 relationship, and if we could we watch further we might see that this person was told how to dress, what to do, and under control all of the time. In picture 2 we might see the persons change places later, or the day after. In picture 3 we might see a difference between what happens in the scene, and what happens afterwards, which might be a non-bdsm life. And so on.

My point is, we cannot see into the heads of the people we were watching, but the feelings in there would be very different, and those feelings are what determines everything else.

There is a difference if someone wants a whippping as a sensual experience, or if it is a sign of dominance. Or both.

Another thing is that what you want and what you can get is not the same thing. You may want someone to take over, but if don't, they don't, and you have a problem. You can give it up, or try to make the best of it. As I see it, topping from the bottom is not always by choice, but it may be bettter than nothing, at least for a while.