Davina-I had a very brief relationship with another sub, one whose tastes almost exactly paralleled mine, so much so that we could give each other what WE wanted and make the other very happy. We took turns topping, and had a great time. Aside from communicating with your lady, which can't be stressed enough, could you work out trades? You know, I'll do the X, Y, and Z you want tonight, and you do the A, B, and C I want tomorrow? My current relationship is with a switch. When he tops, things are amazing; I, on the other hand, have not done so well as his top. But I haven't given up; it is almost part of my submission to want to learn how to give him what he needs when he is feeling more bottom even if I would technically be the top in that situation. (I hope that last sentence wasn't too confusing.)