maybe i take back my lack of envy.

It seems that so often we wish for things and long for things and never get them. I've been in your situation to an extent and knowing then what I know now I wish i had stayed with were the kink was (so to speak).

The reason is that now, I know what I want and it isn't there. We search so often for a perfect fit, feeling heartbroken or out of sorts without it. We hides those feelings with mediocre replacements. Which may be great in their own place but not in their place with us. Sometimes we hide those feelings so well that we forget them. I know what it feels like to find that. For me it's like in the movie Hook when Peter finds his happy thought and can fly.

So yeah do what's best for you.