Body Size & Shape

[Lady Hecate]

Claire:

I don't wish to say what my body proportions are, but that said, I am also not 100% happy with my body either, and I often do feel a little fat. Its probably an extremely common thing that most women feel.
I have wished for a long time that my abdominal area could be totally flat, but somehow I think that is probably never going to happen. I'm pretty sure I have a body type that naturally resists that. So, in a way, I can empathize with you.
Especially since some men actually do call me "fat" as well.

As for your questions:

Are you attracted to or repelled by a fat person? - I am not usually completely repelled by fat people. I had two ex girlfriends who were fat, and truthfully, I have always found them both extremely beautiful. That said, I think I also have to agree that I usually am not attracted to fat men.

Are you attracted to or repelled by thin people? - I am almost never attracted
to thin people. Almost any time I see people who are thin, my first thought is almost always, "he/she needs to eat more, seriously."
And I can never personally relate to the thing of "just forgetting to eat." I actually met one really thin guy once who told me the reason he was so small was because he simply got so busy doing other things he wouldn't remember to eat. Seriously, if I "forget" one meal I feel like I want to tear someone's head off.

What body type attracts you the most? - Truthfully, what I usually like the most is people who are muscular.

How have my own body issues affected my love life/sex life? - I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

[Hime]

claire,

My girl is a BBW. I wouldn't have called myself a chubby chaser or BBW fetishist before I met her, although I've always liked curves, but when I got to know her I came to see her size as a big turn-on. There's something really exciting about dominating a woman who's more than twice my size, and I love that I can just sink my fingertips (or teeth, hehe) into just about any part of her. With her white skin and long, curly red hair, she looks like a woman in a pre-Raphaelite painting. Usually one of the ones where the women are being ravished.

Sometimes people are surprised that I'm attracted to plus-sized women because I'm on the athletic side myself (I wear a size 4 or 6 and am a bit of a gym rat). I think there's a really pervasive attitude, at least in Western culture, that being fat or thin says something major about who you are as a person, and that if you're thin it must be because you work really hard to be that way, or if you're fat it's because you just sit around on the couch all day and don't care about your health. I really don't believe in that -- I don't think that body type has anything to do with who you are or what your priorities are. I know that I don't work to be thin; I eat more than most heavy people I know. So it would be pretty lame for me to judge someone based on their weight. In fact, I think it's pretty lame for anyone to judge someone without knowing the first thing about them, which is how lots of people treat heavy folks all the time.

It sounds like you're lucky to have found someone who wants to make you feel better about yourself, but in my experience confidence really has to come from within. Seeing a therapist helped me when I was having some body-image problems, so it might help you, too. And if you do decide to lose weight, of course that's your choice, but please resist the pressure to do anything extreme or unhealthy. Starving your body can cause long-term damage; I know people who've had serious health problems caused by extreme diets. Remember that you are a person who is loved and valued, not some source of shame or "concern" that has to be "cured."

I hope that my response helps.

~Hime

[WyldWyl]

...and I love that I can just sink my fingertips (or teeth, hehe) into just about any part of her.
~Hime

Amen to that!

[Hime]

How have my own body issues affected my love life/sex life? - I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

Let me be the first person to offer to beat these guys up for you. I don't care if they're doms, subs, whatever: when you've got a woman naked in bed with you you'd better be grateful.

[alpha_Straye]

I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

Wow.. way 101 for a guy to get chucked out of the house stark naked. Or hog tied with his underwear and left on the lawn, but perhaps im in a mood today *wry smile*.

Please, Madam, if there were anything they honestly thought was so wrong with You, then they wouldnt have bothered to make the effort to get into Your bed. i hope You didnt take any bit of that BS to heart because even if whatever flaw were real (which i sincerely doubt) there would be no reason or exscuse to be so impolite as to say so like that. It sounds to me like a trick to damage your selfesteem by someone with his own sexual problems (and typical abuser stuff by the way). Anybody else who found some suprise detail too objectionable would just make some exscuse and leave... which means this stuff wasnt You. It was them and their own problems with themselves. It's not my place to say but i think You're well rid of them, even though im sure it hurt You anyways which im sorry for *sigh*.