Body Size & Shape

[yourlilslave86]

Claire,

I myself am overweight. I have to relate to you in this area. But one thing I have found in talking with my doc is that I can lose the weight. Something that always stopped me is my weight because why would someone want to date a "fat" person? It makes me head for that dark place and I don't want to be in that dark place.

What I did was research different diets and then talked to my doc about which one is better and we came to the conclusion that the South Beach diet was the best one for me. You can research it if you would like. I have cut out all pop and most sweets and I have been losing the weight. I check in with my doc once a month but if things start going bad I won't hesistate to call my doc. Plus from the nice sunburn I have now I have been doing a lot of swimming which is exercise so its not all bad.

As for your questions the majority of my partners haven't been bigger or drastically smaller than me they are about average. I don't really have a body type that attracts me the most because I look at what is on the inside instead of the outside.

I will be here to support you if you want to start losing weight *hugs*

Amanda

[TomOfSweden]

What I did was research different diets and then talked to my doc about which one is better and we came to the conclusion that the South Beach diet was the best one for me. You can research it if you would like. I have cut out all pop and most sweets and I have been losing the weight. I check in with my doc once a month but if things start going bad I won't hesistate to call my doc. Plus from the nice sunburn I have now I have been doing a lot of swimming which is exercise so its not all bad.

I hate to be a Mr complainy. But I don't think Claire was asking for diet tips. The fact that you assume all fat people do... well... just adds to the prejudice both you and Claire was expressing.

I think this subject is very interesting so I'd hate it turning into a diet tips session. But if that's what you want Claire, I'll apologise and go and sit down again.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

It's not a question of repelled. I just don't notice fat women. I can scan a room and my mind just erases them. But, no I can't say its anything that attracts me. And there's fat and fat. I don't fall for skinny women either. My mind erases them to. I used to be attracted to them when I was a kid. But as I got older my tastes got heavier and heavier. But I still wouldn't call my wife today over-weight/fat. Not even nearly. She's my ideal. I also don't notice young chicks, (16-19) any more. Which I think is interesting, because I used to think they were the hottest chicks. I still think they're pretty, but they've fallen completely off my sexual interest radar. I'm more, "get your feet off the seat!" when I'm on the subway. The parenty vibe.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Thin is relative. I like athletic bodies. Just thin means there's no muscles. I think muscles are important.

What body type attracts you most?
It's a question of proportion. A girl with big breasts can get away with some fat on her belly. While a woman not as blessed with them can't.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
In my early teens I used to think I was ugly and nobody could be attracted to me for my looks. So I thought I'd have to compensate with a great personality and getting a reputation for being dangerous, (ha ha snicker... embarrassing memories). When I was 18 I was stopped in the street by a modelling scout and I ended up modelling for underwear. Yes, my own body image effected my love/sex life a lot. But my own body image was insane. I could see an ugliness nobody else could. My soul was in a lot of pain which made me think the outside was as ugly as on the inside. My modelling stint was a rude awakening which solved all my body issues in one quick stroke. And after that I became totally full of myself thinking I was gods gift to women. And I'm sure I had much higher views of my own looks than what was actually true.

The moral of the story was that you might as well think you're gorgeous. It's not as if its anything that can be measured. And Claire, the fact that you're boyfriends into you just proves I'm right. You've got a body image that makes you think you look worse than reality. The fact that you're boyfriend is as into you as he is proves it. All men might not share the view, but who cares? It's not the rest of the world you're trying to impress. Just your own love at home.

[claire]

Thanks all for your replies. Tom is right I'm not looking for diet tips, but I do appreciate the honest answers.

I just don't notice fat women

Interesting, so, that feeling I get sometimes of being invisible is real. I always thought it was kind of weird - how could someone my size be invisible.... But thinking about it some more, it makes sense. We all have certain types of people that either catch our attention or go un-noticed.

[TomOfSweden]

Interesting, so, that feeling I get sometimes of being invisible is real. I always thought it was kind of weird - how could someone my size be invisible.... But thinking about it some more, it makes sense. We all have certain types of people that either catch our attention or go un-noticed.

I think the word "attraction" is the key. Being attracted to someone means they catch our eye. The other ones don't. So they're invisible.

We all think that everybody sees us and has an opinion. It's totally natural. Our minds are confined to our own bodies, and we create the entire universe inside our heads revolving around our own bodies. But so does everybody else. We are the most important person to ourselves. But only to us, no matter how much we'd wish they would care about us as much as we do.

Isn't that pretty much what growing up is about? Young kids are always upset about other people not understanding their specific problems, while they at the same time deny that other people might have different priorities that are relevant. Having a pimple on the nose for a young kid really can destroy their world.

Anyway. I think the trick isn't to be perfect to everyone, but to find a person to whom you're perfect to. Sure, having "ideal weight" might make that easier... but you don't want somebody to fall in love with your image, but to fall in love with you. And to those who thinks I'm saying, it's really the inside that counts... well I'm really not. I think the outside is just as important.