Sounds like a simple question doesn't it? Move on, get on with life, don't dwell on the past, be grateful for what you have???? I could go on and on. Funny how none of these give even the smallest crumb of comfort.

People who know me from the short time I've been on here know that my husband gave me permission to 'play' on here. Online fun for bored wife - she's horny and happy again - he gets loads of very dirty sex - win, win situation you'd think. Until bored unhappy wife meets guy online, who is able to make the sun shine and the stars twinkle and a woman with very low self-esteem turn into something resembling the sexy woman she was 20yrs ago. They talk, online, on phone, by text, by YIM and to her eternal shame meet. That one meeting changed everything. Total submission to a master so wonderful that no-one could ever hold a candle to him. The want and the need to submit fulfilled in one meeting. The knee buckling texts sent everyday, the most fabulous gushing orgasms, the oh-so tender hugs for warmth and the snog (sounds cheesy doesnt it) that left me so breathless I could have never breathed again and died happy. But the worst thing was the voice, the voice that only had to utter one word for me to almost fall to my knees just at the sound of it. And dont get me started on my need to feel his hands on my throat, longing for the day that he would fasten a collar around it and make me his own sub forever. All these things are true, a woman who has four children and a lovely husband of 20 years, hanging on until the next text, the next email or instant message - very sad you might think, that her submission, hidden for so many years and finally allowed to see the light of day should be snuffed out. You see, my husband found out about the meeting and as a result has banned me from contacting my Master, and I know that I must respect that wish no matter how broken my heart feels or how much I just want to curl up and cry. It must now be a magical dream to look back on and what I need now is the strength to carry on and that my friends is where you come in...... does anyone have any help for me to get through this? I really don't need lectures on what a stupid woman I've been, to risk everything for a fantasy that I could never hope to hang on to - believe me I've beaten myself up over this for more hours than I can count, but if anyone has any words of wisdom for me, I will be eternally grateful, Love2serve