Need some advice from some creative minds

[software]

Spankings and binding me up is too enjoyable to be punishment.

...meaning i do enjoy being bound and being flogged or whipped isn't enough to deter.

No, i definitely do not like to be spanked or otherwise.

...meaning that spankings by hand hurt far too much and i don't enjoy disappointing Master to the point where He must punish me at all, but it doesn't seem to deter my mindset. i find myself pushing the limits too often to get a reaction from Him. It starts off in a joking manner but quickly turns serious the further i push Him.

This whole idea of the torture/punishment for the slightest infraction in order to get my mindset where it should be was completely my own. Master was not completely in agreement with me on it at first. When i was able to explain my reasoning to Him, He reluctantly agreed to it but i had to come up with the means of the punishment.

i must be hopeless.

[lucy]

i must be hopeless.

Could be. It could of course also be that you expect something from yourself you simply can't achieve, like brwneydgirl pointed out.