I think that aftercare can take many forms, I like to have my sub do the clean-up, in my presence, hearing what a good girl she is, taking care of my need to remain focused. It helps her retain her submissive orientation.

Don't think me cold, she then gets to sit at my feet, gets petted, lots of attention, but it's received within her submission, and is far more restorative in her case. For me as well. I too have expended energy, both physical and psychic. I too am dealing with hormones and body chemistry flooding my veins. Her attentions restore me as well.

I learned that without that feedback, I am vaguely disatified after a scene. Nothing I can put my finger on, just a general letdown. But aftercare that is totally focused on the submissive/bottom takes me out of my role... and then we both feel "off".

So we see aftercare as something that requires a fine balance between the submissive's needs and the dominant's needs.