Aftercare

[openyoureyes]

I need and want the aftercare. The more things we try and the further I push my boundaries, the more I will find myself overwhelmed. There have been times after a session where I will lay there, feeling fine, and the next minute my eyes well up and it takes a few minutes to regain my composure. I definitely agree that some part of our brains can interpret what's happening as abuse (especially if something hurts more than we were expecting it to), which makes aftercare very important.

I think it also depends on the relationship. Some subs may not need any aftercare, others may only need physical reassurance, and others might need to be talked to and verbally reassured.

[brwneydgirl]

others may only need physical reassurance, and others might need to be talked to and verbally reassured.

I think this is an important point too...aftercare can take all forms, from a brief conversation and a glass of water to cuddles and sweet whispers throughout the night. I guess just being left alone to figure your own self out is also a form of aftercare...in that you're getting your needs met, one way or the other. *shrugs* (I have zero experience with this...so I'm flying by the seat of my pants on this one)

At any rate, I tend to believe that I'd fall somewhere in between...I'd probably need more than a high-five (which I HAVE experienced as "aftercare" if you can believe that!) but less than all night cuddling.

Then again, what the F do I know?

[AnticipatingPain]

Aftercare for me has changed as I have evolved as a submissive.

I used to need my own space, time to come down on my own and in my own way. I didn't like to be touched as my body was still too heightened.

Now I need the physical interaction, to be held, soothed, to be talked too in a loving & reassuring way. Plenty of fluids & something sweet are a must for me too, I think my blood sugars drop dramatically. As I wouldn't be able to walk safely in a straight line lol.

Maybe the change in my need around aftercare has more to do with just 'playing' previously to now being in a proper loving relationship.