Should I be mad when the first that comes out of a Doms' mouth is about BDSM/sex?

[Daumon]

<< I really hate it when a Dom just meets me (online, not in real life yet), and immediately brings up BDSM. As in, what I'm into, what I've done, what I look like, etc. They don't know a thing about me. Not my Name. Not where I'm from. Not what I like (outside of BDSM like movies, music, foods). They make me feel like a sex object. >>

The internet is the Microwave of releationship. people would rather jump in and ask the comaptability questions related to the reason they are here. They dont want to spend time getting to know someone before getting to questions about the 'juicy parts.' Very wrong headed but thats how many people act

<<< If a man values me for the sexual favors I can provide him (rather than my winning personality and my insatiable curiosity) then I become expendable. If he doesn't get what he wants from me then he'd just move on to someone else. And I am just another whore to him. >>>

Many peopel see the net as a fast disposable way to fill time. A place to meet exciting and interesting people and jumping inot a quick and easy play time or relationship with. They see online as fast , easy and disposable. unlike real life you simple go offline and the issues you have can be put aside and ignored. if its too much troble you walk away and never look back. So all they look for is someone to spend easy safe tim e with and who they can leave behind without too much pain on their part.

<<< Is it too much to ask for the same courtesies one would get if they met me on the street? Even if a guy were at a club on a mission to get laid that night, he wouldn't go up to a girl and immediately ask her if she takes it up the ass. No. He'd say hi. maybe buy her a drink. compliment her on her appearance. Ask her about herself. You know, make small talk before getting to the nitty gritty. Regardless of a guys intentions, they try to be a LITTLE courteous in real life. >>>

The chat rooms are ment to be the proper setting to promote the social courtesy of RL. Its hard for some people to stike up those polite conversations in RL. when I cannot buy you a drink or complent you on your hair, dress, or charming looks you have to be able to find things about the person from their conversations in chat. To amy people lack the skills to read people well in RL or online. So they dont connect wellthat way. some just dont have a clue about opeing a proper conversdation. and agains some just dont want to take the time.

Personally, If someone opens with boring, pointless or offensive remoraks then be thankful that they make your job easier. They show you quickly they are not the sort of person you are looking for. their lack of interest save you they time of finding out they are bad matches. Yes its annoying and frsutrationg to meet people who treat you like that. better to have them remove themselves from your selection list all by themselves. It makes it easier to spot the ones that take the time, listen and ask the right questions.

Daumon

[fellintobed]

Personally, If someone opens with boring, pointless or offensive remoraks then be thankful that they make your job easier. They show you quickly they are not the sort of person you are looking for. their lack of interest save you they time of finding out they are bad matches. Yes its annoying and frsutrationg to meet people who treat you like that. better to have them remove themselves from your selection list all by themselves. It makes it easier to spot the ones that take the time, listen and ask the right questions.

I wanted to quote this part of Daumon's reply because I agree with it 100%. I would also add that you have an additional option to try before you put someone on your mental ignore list: redirecting the conversation.

So you're in the chatroom, and you want to meet people to establish a connection - but your first interest is their personality and their first interest is your sexuality. Okay, fine. Run with it:

GUY IN CHAT: hi do you like being tied up and being caned?
BAMBINA: Hi Random Dom. I like to get to know people a bit before jumping right into sex talk. Where are you from?

How he responds will tell you what you need to know - i.e. is he contacting you because he wants to know about YOU, or is he contacting you because you're female and in the chatroom. It might take a few messages back and forth, but you should be able to tell fairly quickly where he's coming from, and THEN you can make the calm, non-angry decision on whether to keep chatting or end the conversation.