Are switches confused or is everybody else?

[Cool Luke's Hand]

You've probably heard of Kinsey's theory of sexuality (basically that everybody is at least a little attracted to members of the same sex) and, while I don't agree with it, I think the theory applies to switches rather nicely. Just as switches like to dabble in both ends of the spectrums, so to do bisexuals, and I've never heard anybody call a bisexual person confused and mean it.

[gloombunny]

I've never heard anybody call a bisexual person confused and mean it.

Then you haven't been listening very hard. I'm frankly kind of astonished to hear you say that.

[Cool Luke's Hand]

Then you haven't been listening very hard. I'm frankly kind of astonished to hear you say that.

Emphasis: I. I've never heard bisexuals being referred to as confused; I've heard people claim that teenage girls classing themselves as bisexual is attention-seeking behaviour (and with the proliferation of sites like Facebook and Myspace, they're getting the attention they seek), but not that they're confused. I don't see what's so astonishing about that.

[gloombunny]

It's just surprising to me because I hear people saying that about bi folks all the time. There are lots of people who plain don't believe bisexuality really exists. That all of us claiming to be bi are either (a) homosexual and in denial, or (b) straight and trying to be trendy. (The former is more common for bi men and the latter for bi women, of course.)

[ghostgirl]

Hope this thread isn't dead...this is my cherry post. *grin*

Great article that pretty much sums up my attitude:
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdswitch.html

[Hime]

I'm bi, switch, and poly, and I'm definitely not confused -- I wouldn't be messing around doing something if I couldn't figure out whether I enjoyed it or not.

I can see how some people in the scene really want to believe that everyone would be happier if they'd just embrace either dominance or submission, but I don't think that's true for me -- I'm more sub than I am dom, but my dom side is an important piece of the puzzle that composes me.

[craven]

I agree with the comments of the other switches, I am neither confused nor necessarily greedy for what ever is going, although again as has been stated not that there is anything remotely greedy in seeking as much fun as one can get their hands on.

I am a switch, I can say this hand on heart, I am more dominant than submissive but have identified and learned to appreciate and allow my submissive side to surface, dependent upon the relationship and my feelings for the other person.

I believe that Switches make very good doms, as we are in tune with and understand the submissives mindset and feelings.

As for being confused, I am not sure how, or why i feel as i do when I meet people, however my first impressions are very rarely wrong, or need to be changed, I know whether I feel I am in the Dom or the sub role as a result of my interaction with the individual. this may in some way be effected by my own personal needs at the time, although I would say that I have met others that I would consider being submissive to only to find that they do not trigger the right impulses within me.

When I meet a domme or switch who arouses the submissive within me I am able to perform this role within the relationship, it is rare, that I feel the need to surrender however and has only happened in a couple of instances. the first time being particularly difficult for me, as I had no real understanding of the submissives mindset. That said I now feel a better Dom for having experienced and admitted to my submissive needs.

it has greatly changed my perception of submission, and as such my interaction with subs has evololved accordingly.

Once in a relationship I do not feel the need to dom from the bottom, or encourage the sub to take control, the parameters of my relationship remain , if I have accepted another as my Domme, or taken a sub then this is how that relationship remains.

Confused no, open yes not a fan of labels the role I take within a relationship is dependent solely upon the feelings that the other person triggers within me ,these are very personal and difficult to explain, as they are really unique from person to person.

I would just like to finish up with a quick plea, I am really not an easy sub, i dont think many switches are, as such the possibility of me submitting to another is going to rely upon the strength and character of the other, for all you would be dommes and subs seking to have a go at domming a switch please dont call me your slut or little one and expect me to hop into play with you, I am not able to speak for all switches, however I am able to say that I am a far more complex character, and need to build a bond of trust and understanding before I am able to commit to either role.

[thir]

You've probably heard of Kinsey's theory of sexuality (basically that everybody is at least a little attracted to members of the same sex) and, while I don't agree with it, I think the theory applies to switches rather nicely. Just as switches like to dabble in both ends of the spectrums, so to do bisexuals, and I've never heard anybody call a bisexual person confused and mean it.

Commen mistake: Switching does not mean that you "dabble" with anything, you are just as dedicated as others.

I have heard people call bisexuals confused and mean it.