chalsia

after i posted my last blog i realized something, how detached i was from trying to convey what brought me to this journey. I was like a disconnected reporter and want to rectify such starting today. Because it was much more then just to lay in the bathtub and make myself cum with a stream of water, so much more.
i can not even pinpoint the beginning but every day i looked forward to the private time in my bathroom. my fingers were trembling as i undressed, peeled off layer and layer of that catholic girl school uniform. Taking care not to wrinkle the skirt or the vest, throwing the blouse, socks and panties into the hamper. looking into the mirror to examen my body. Knowing how much i craved to have a bigger chest .. fingertips gentle traveling over my nipples.. feeling them harden under the caress. Scrutinizing my sex by parting my thighs .. searching for hair.. i just knew it was going to grow eventually.
the strange part was that by the time i turned on the water to just the right temperature, there was my *invisible Master*. Sometimes pleased with the time i took to undress and inspect myself. sometimes unhappy .. i remember my silent conversations with this invisible force.. how i was happy when i pleased him, how sad i was when i did not. Never mind that all that played in my mind, it was my fantasy and i loved it.
Sinking into the bathtub into millions of bubbles, the way the water felt so luxurious on my skin.. hands gently caressing my flesh.. nipples so hard.. so aching .. hips almost bucking to feel the first stream of water against my clit. Taking the hose of the water with one hand and parting the lips of my sex with the other.. slowly letting the water-pressure against the bundle of nerves.. my eyes closing as my invisible Master urged me to keep going or stop.. to surrender myself to the moment, legs quivering.. my whole body flushed .. heart thundering, breathing ragged.. hand clenching tighter around the handle of the water as the waves of orgasm rush through me.. only then realizing that the water no longer was warm.. but ice cold.. as i rushed and tumbled and crumbled over the edge.
the distant call from my mom bringing me back to the reality as i assured her that everything was alright.
Do i need a doctors couch or what?