My two cents, for what they're worth . .
I have always had fantasies about letting my partner be in charge in the bedroom, and about a certain amount of what others might consider pain. For me, at least, it is only those things that should be painful (spanking, with or without toys, for example) but aren't that turn me on. I know there are others who want things to actually hurt; another part of the scene is that I know/accept/believe that that is fine for them. (Actually, I know/believe that as long as it is consensual, it is none of my business what a couple-or more-does, but you get the idea.) I have some ideas why I enjoy those things, but that doesn't really matter. I know what I like, and that's all I really need.
I have taken the top role on occasion, and I will to please a partner, as long as I get the bottom time I need. I can also enjoy vanilla sex sometimes. I think that technically makes me a switch, but I lean heavily to the bottom side.
If you are trying to figure yurself out, my suggestion would be to think about your fantasies. Would you love to watch your partner's ass turn red from the impact of your hand, or do you want the sore butt? Would you like to have your partner tied down, at your mercy, or do you crave the ropes? Or does all this make you think, "ick?" Or does it all sound like fun? A lot of the people here say that labels don't matter, and I tend to agree. You don't have to have a name for what you do, as long as you and your partner are having fun. I think staying safe is important, too, but others use RACK-Risk Aware Consensual Kink-to let them engage in less-safe activities. I have not found anyone who disagrees with the consensual part-that is rape or assault, not sex. So, if you're curious, and your partner is willing, try things out. You don't need to spend a ton of money on special equipment to start. Your hand, a few scarves or neckties, those can take you pretty far. There are some really good books out there; SM101 by Jay Wiseman is pretty good, and I'm sure others here can recommend some more-and will.
Have fun, and good luck.