how long till he tires??

[Kore]

Simple question, how on earth do I allow myself to totally let myself believe in another after years of abuse?....I tend to let history repeat....

There's a huge difference between an abusive relationship and a BDSM relationship (providing the BDSM version isn't masking it) These are My opinions only, based on so little but the simple question. You do need to build that relationship with your Sir and a good Sir will take the time to get to know you, your history, your issues and insecurities. A good Sir will help you through them, make you stronger, independent, offer security, want to see you happy and most of all, tell you that the abuse suffered was never your fault.

but this time, I may just lose the opportunity to be completely happy . The physical pain and punishment I can tolerate...the mental bruising holds me back. Finally, I have found the one, yet see myself slipping through his fingers due to constant insecurity. Patience only last so long..doesnt it????

Take the time to look deep within your insecurities and talk with your Sir. A well meaning and mature Sir with listen to your concerns, ask the right questions and try to formulate a plan to help you through those insecurities. You need to have more than one conversation, it may lead to a lifetime of conversations and that certainly isn't anything wrong with that. Do what makes you comfortable, stating that facts and issues and remember that patience is the best tool. A good Sir will never damage his masterpiece.

All the best.

[believeinme]

thankyou.....If I may ask yet another question.....Do you think it is really necessary that I should have to reveal everything to him.....at times his questioning only causes more grief to myself...yet still he pushes me to discuss it. How can I expect him to understand if I myself dont understand the full extent to why things happened?

[Kore]

thankyou.....If I may ask yet another question.....Do you think it is really necessary that I should have to reveal everything to him.....at times his questioning only causes more grief to myself...yet still he pushes me to discuss it.

Patience is the true key to a fruitful relationship but the only way a good Dominant will understand you, will be getting to know you. Since this lifestyle isn't a race, take your time because grief within a conversation doesn't go well and a poor ingredient within the mix.

Look at it this way, when I train a pet, I would like to see the pet perform because the pet wants to. It wants to perform because of trust and to please the handler. If the pet doesn't trust and has to perform, the pet generally doesn't perform the task to it's best ability.

How can I expect him to understand if I myself dont understand the full extent to why things happened?

Back to the beginning, patience on both parts. It takes a good ear to listen, a wise one to reflect the conversation. Take your time and also analyze what you're expressing. Those revelations at some point in time will be put aside with a wise Sir. Once dealt with, you have the chance to start all over again and look at the past, as the past.