Me either. I think I just have to accept it.


It was sort of ironic, because as I was laying in bed this morning (truth- crying in bed this morning) it sort of hit me that this will probably be the BIGGEST test of my willingness to submit to Him of all. Am I strong enough to submit to His desire to have a vanilla relationship? Am I strong enough to submit to His desire to no longer have a Mastership? He's made it clear to me that He loves me and doesn't wish to end our entire relationship, just that side of it.

I don't see it as black and white as that. I can't stop being submissive to Him, and He will never be able to not be the dominant partner in our relationship (even without the Master title- he's not the sort to not be in control) so essentially I submit to him.... and the only reward I get is the comfort that I love him and respect Him enough that I will submit to ANY and ALL of His wishes.

Ugh. Love Him desperately.... but so not looking forward to not having that title in my life