After spending far too many years traveling on the road, my wife and I find it more comfortable to talk on the phone...at least to broach a subject..and then after the initial conversation finish it in person. You may also find some relevant websites to direct him to....this one, for instance. When someone has been raised to not talk about a subject talking around it like this can work. You didn't mention if he has problems discussing it; perhaps he can get the idea and pursue it with you after you have given him directions.

Muscles develop their own reactions in spasm after being "trained" that way during what they consider to be a traumatic event. It isn't easy to get past that, but it is possible. Working with a therapist trained in muscle reaction may help.