Relationships take time to evolve. A couple days every week and a half to work out something as complex as BDSM chemistry and roles seems like it may be putting too much pressure on actual growth.

Maybe ID is 100% correct in saying that your partner is not dominant, but I'm of the opinion that it's a little too early in the game to say for sure. Dominants have different styles and approaches, maybe your guy simply hasn't found his groove. The desire may be there (as you said he doesn't want to do it just for you but for himself as well) but the mode of execution simply needs to be felt out.

A lot of men that are inclined to be dominant hold back initially due to the concern of inadvertently crossing the line to abuse, or being seen (by your Doctor, for example) as an abuser. Getting over this is a bigger hump than you just telling him it'll be fine. Start with play that doesn't leave marks, for example. Instead of signing an all encompassing contract, write up basic parameters for each pint sized session until you work up to something that resembles an actual lifestyle.

Speaking of starting small and working your way up, why, if I may ask, do you "need" to be collared before playing? It's a little like entering marathon in an effort to start getting into shape. A jog around the block is a much better way to go, even if you have talked your way though how the marathon should work for months. Knowing how to do something in theory and actually doing it are two totally different things, and expecting a flawless performance just because you know the "rules" is setting yourself up for disappointment for sure. Masters aren't made overnight - no one goes pro right out of the gate.

You know your relationship better than any of us here on the forums, but from your description in your post my biggest advice would be to simply lighten up. Not all BDSM needs to be serious, dark, littered with "Dom Speak," perfect fantasy encounters. First and foremost it's supposed to be fun. Some of my best and most pleasurable BDSM moments have involved a lot of laughing and giggling and learning. You have a guy that is trying and is wanting to make progress not only for you but for himself, and (ask a lot of the ladies here) that is a rare and precious commodity.

(And if all else fails, just rent an Oz...lol)