I think Jennifer's post is interesting from the PoV that it is a female Domme and a male sub... You see, there has been a lot of discussion on aftercare in the past (she may have missed it, but the discussion does recur every now and again and sometimes it crops up as part of another discussion in a 'in this scene you have described, what aftercare did you do?' sort of way where it is easy to miss). However, the majority of it has always been 'Male Dom, female sub' orientated. And here we are treading into stereotype territory becasue, as we all know, women are emotional and needy and therefore need to be hugged after any sexual contact whereas men just want to get the hell out of the bed, head home (because they have a breakfast meeting in the morning, honest...) and look for their next conquest...

And, of course, Den and Jennifer's posts both belie this stereotype... Here we have a woman who wants to be left alone and a man who (presumably, from the description, wants to be hugged). As both are subs, you can't even say it is a sub Dom thing...

Different people have different responses and, more importantly, different responses to different people and activities. Even considering basic, vanilla sex an individual can have a different emotional response even to sex with the same person on different occasions so when you throw in the extra emotions played with in BDSM, well there is a plethora of possible responses.

I think the important thing about aftercare is that you consider it and are prepared to do whatever the other person wants to do. If they want to be left alone, do it. If they want a hug, do it. Of course, this often means that there are conflicting wants though in my experience, where I want to be left alone, what usually occurs is that I see the hugging as part of the session - it is her aftercare but not mine - then I go and be alone for a bit for my aftercare.

Talking about it is an essential part of the process, however, no matter what your preference for emotional needs. It allows you to learn what worked and what did not work. Though it does not need to be immediate. It could be the next day, after some reflection, and need not even be talking (because some feel shy about talking about sex) but could be written in some form.

Basic first aid and cleaning is also important. Make sure there are no untreated open wounds that could get infected, ensure there is no damage or trauma that is serious enough to possibly require hospitalisation and so on.