I was thinking more of the attitude that "I am more important to me than you are to me, or that I do not need to have any accord with you to like you", as opposed to saying that "I am better than you". But I did look at the definition of arrogance in a a bunch of online dictionarys, and it seems that the idea of superiority and overbearing attitude are part of most definitions of arrogance. So I will have to come up with a better word.

Maybe pride, ego, impudence? It is possilbe for a dom/me to have a snotty attitude towards their sub, and it still be a very positive relationship, because the Dom/me is saying that it is ok for the sub to be their own person, and the Dom/me is secure both with themselves and with the sub reflecting well upon them. And the sub is secure that the Dom/me attitude is not dependant upon him/her acting or saying certian things.