Quote Originally Posted by Guinevere666 View Post
in some ways would feel a weight lifted to tell him , Physical punishment would be a relief ( I'm not a masochist - but enjoy enduring pain for his sake )...

taking the guilt, and punishing myself , and making it up to him as best I can
Remember that I'm a stranger on the internet so please don't let my advice ruin your life in some way.

But it sounds like you want to tell him for the purpose of relieving yourself, because it's what will feel best for you, and even your motivation for punishment sounds self-serving. You feel guilty and you want to tell him so he can beat you and you can have a catharsis. You'll be able to move on, god knows I can't fault you for wanting that. Where are his feelings in all this?

That's not a snarky rhetorical question, it's just the question you should ask yourself before you make any decisions, since they seem to be based on solely on your own needs and the notion that people should always confess infidelities. That's the best I can give you without just telling you where my "moral compass" would fall in terms of infidelity and what to do next. That's something that's too personal for me to ever give you advice on, because everyone thinks differently about that. But just... Just at least make sure you're not doing it solely to enhance your own ability to pick up and move on in your relationship with him, because you might find that he's unable to do so as quickly as you -- he might not feel as cleansed as you do in the whole "atonement" scene scenario -- and you should be prepared for that.