Demanding jobs and BDSM

[thepast]

I have recieved 20+ PMs in the past ~24hrs since I made this post, and everyone has said the same thing: "OMG, so I am not so weird for not playing all the time!"

Folks, I am pleased as pie that I was able to let everyone out there know a little "secret" into Lifestyle... but I will also say this... Be VERY VERY weary of things you read o/l about peoples' lives, whether it's in their blogs, or their stories, or their profiles, or in chatting with them. People have a knack of "puffing" up their situation, whether intentional or not. Reality is NEVER what fantasy is made out to be, nor is it what others often "talk it" to be. Also, when people talk about "amazing play weekends" together, or "amazing vacations" together, it's just that: a break from the routine.

Lifestyle is, and always will be, an amazing part of my life, and an amazing part of a lot of peoples' lives here on this site, and on many other sites. However, lifestyle is just that: a PART of a healthy life. You still need all the other things: family, friends, a job, outside hobbies/interests... in other words, A LIFE. Sex is great, play is fun... but it can't be "everything." Enjoy the hell out if it, but make sure you keep it in perspective: it's perfectly grand sometimes to just have a night curled up on the couch, eating popcorn, drinking wine/beer, and watching TV together; that can be just as romantic & relationship-building as a night of your Dom beating the shit out of you *laughs*... in fact, you need a little of both.

Keep it real, and it will last... try to "do it all" all the time, and you will burn out & find yourselves not enjoying anything BDSM-related anymore.

Hope this helps!

@ symphony: intelligent people won't think your sex life comes before your kids or your work... at least, I certainly wouldn't-- it's sex. Don't feel the need to have to retreat from your words. You were spot on w/your feelings & you should feel ok to own them. I think we "got" that you were looking to figure out how to find a balance for those times you just "weren't in the mood..." No worries

[Miner]

Keep it real, and it will last... try to "do it all" all the time, and you will burn out & find yourselves not enjoying anything BDSM-related anymore.

Bingo!

That little phrase should be engraved on the gates of this site! Kink is so much more enjoyable when you keep it real, and don't try to force it.

Perhaps the real difference between o/l and r/t is just that in r/l ordinary life is much more present. Kink just isn't the same when you or your partner have a stonking cold, or one of you slipped on the ice and sprained an ankle, or the bills need sorting and paying.