Most people are somewhere in the middle of the 'switch-zone' in terms of their dominance/submissive tendencies. Whether we are labelled as 'Dom', 'sub' or whatever is sometimes more to do with personal choice and comparisons with the people around us than our actual feelings in that direction. Many of us call ourselves 'Dom' or 'sub' because that is something we want to explore. Some (none that I am aware of here in this forum) do it without even knowing what the terms really mean and use them interchangeably and as a means towards quick, dirty sex (which is always fun but not the be all and end all of BDSM).

It is interesting that one of the Doms you talked to wanted a relationship with an equal or better. I suppose that is often the ideal even in vanilla relationships - you need someone to challenge you mentally and physically but not overwhelm you. He seemed to think that a relationship with a switch would give him that and he clearly saw you as an equal. Though I feel he may be missing the point somewhere by assuming that sub=inferior. Ok, in name this is true but just because someone is submissive does not necessarily mean that they are not intelligent, strong, willful. Sub does not equal doormat.

Also, why would a relationship with another Dom require one of you to submit in any way? If you were playing the poly aspects of BDSM then it is possible for you to have a more or less vanilla relationship sexually (though you can have as much dirty sex as you like with either of you being the bottom at any one time) but both play with your own subs individually. You could even have a set up where you double dommed subs and incorporated that into your own sexual play. Maybe even a set up where he dommed you by ordering you to do things to another sub.

And I for one would like to volunteer to be that sub...