Quote Originally Posted by dillinja View Post
thank you delish! my kitty is naturally submissive, and i know she could be a great pet given the right training. She's so submissive she has a real hard time vocalizing what she wants. I've given her tasks of emailing me fantasys that she wants played out while at work to help remind her of me durring the day like ozme52 said and to help try to understand what she wants and where she is coming from. When you are with your Dom does it bother you if he talks about how/why things work with play, or asks to pratice things on you ( like simple rope bondage with out putting you in a position or anything crazy ) when out of scene?
I cannot emphasize enough that she has to learn to communicate her needs to you. She is doing both of you a disservice by not doing that- I'm not saying that as a criticism, though. It's a process and it sounds like something she is trying to learn to do.

To answer your questions: My husband and I usually analyze the things we do, especially if there is a need. Sometimes there isn't a need. Sometimes he asks me, "Where did that come from?" and I shrug. Sometimes the discussion goes on for hours. I love every second of it. Even the moments that are uncomfortable for me, I feel like it brings us closer. I don't think that we can practice things like bondage without getting aroused, so I can't comment on that one. But we don't do anything complex because he has physical issues that would make something like ropework impossible.