What makes you...

[AdrianaAurora]

Why are Doms so cheap with insight into their psyche? Whenever there is an equivalent discussion about submission they come flying like moths to a flame. Do you ever wish that you aren't in charge? Are Doms secretly submissive? My husband isn't a chatterbox but we have an amazing communication, He will talk and discuss anything with me. And yet, when I try to pick his brain out, He goes all tight lipped and if I try to pull something out of Him...its exhausting, I tell you, lol. Not only does it feel like I'm trying to dig rocks, I sometimes get spanked for caring and taking trouble.

[Ozme52]

Why are Doms so cheap with insight into their psyche?

I wouldn't call it cheap...

Besides... economically speaking the rarer the commodity, the more highly valued it becomes.

Perhaps we (male) doms are just more private... it seems right in line with the queston gemmy asked a while back about sharing ourselves in pictures.

[Karesch]

I really don't know to offer a deep psychologically revealing answer to this question... I just Know, with every fibre of my being, that I'm a Dom. I always have been. My entire personality is just wrapped up in it and interlaced with it. I have a very strong, very self assured, very commanding sort of presence and personality. I don't feel like I Have to be in charge of anything, I just end up being in charge of alot of the situations I'm in. All my life people have just turned to me for guidance and direction... I don't know how else to explain it... I don't know if I was born this way, made this way by the interactions I've had throughout my life or what the case is, I just know it is what it is.

Sexual Sadism is another aspect of my personality that I can't really credit to anything, it just is who I am. Everything inside me just enjoys... biting, flogging, paddling, spanking... all of it. I've been in relationships that pushed the borders of the extreme for S&M, and I've yet to find somebody that had an appetite for recieving pain that outdid my own ability to dish it. The only thing that's stopped such things has been common sense, not hard limits.

Don't know if any of that helps though...

K

[Ozme52]

Why are Doms so cheap with insight into their psyche? Whenever there is an equivalent discussion about submission they come flying like moths to a flame.

Okay, not to beat a dead horse... but I just had an interesting insight.

The number of subs answering is far larger because, of course, the number of subs in the population is larger.

Add to that, the nature of the answers... which I reread and realized... are no more insightful than the answers we give. Yes, perhaps a little more flowery, a little more generous in the amount said, but no more insightful than our answers.

They may strike a chord within you as a sub, but the answers are as enigmatic to me as our answers apparently appear to you.

Maybe it's enough that we each recognize and acknowledge our inner needs... and not so important that we fully understand them.

[AdrianaAurora]

Maybe it's enough that we each recognize and acknowledge our inner needs... and not so important that we fully understand them.

I accept that. I don't have to know, but trying is what makes life interesting. Its how we learn.

[AdrianaAurora]

Where did you get your "education" from?

I am a mother to an amazing almost 11 year old (step)son. And as he is his fathers son, I am begging to panic over puberty. I suppose if I weren't busy fretting being a mum, it would be an interesting thing to observe. I dont know if he is going to develop an interest in bdsm and frankly, I would be perfectly happy to never know, but its already crystal clear he is going to be a Dominant. He is perfectionist, has to excel at everything, he is always perfectly behaved when with me (though I have my suspicions about when he is away at school, lol), has already learned how to keep control of himself and to a large extent of his emotions (another thing I fret about) and he simply has that protective streak and air about him. As every mother, I imagine, I want my boy to grow up to be a good, honorable and self assured man, but I also want him to be someone who respects women and knows a value of special one. Someone here mentioned having read Gor series at approximately that age, so I was thinking if I should get him those for his birthday? Or is that too weird? (I haven't read them.)

Another thing I noticed is that a large number of masters has knowledge of martial arts? Makes me wonder, has he taken up kenjutsu to practice his strokes for bdsm or is he using my butt to practice his kenjutsu aim?
While I am perfectly happy to practice at the level sufficient to beat the crap out of jerks who presume to touch something that is not theirs and where it serves as credible explanation that "mummy and daddy were just wrestling", lol, He takes it very seriously, to Him its a way of life.
He has been teaching the boy savate and kenjutsu since before he could walk, lol. As a birthday present He is planning to gift him with his first real katana (authentic nihontō) and has been stepping up his training.
Yes, this long intro, my apologies, actually has a point. We have a large house and the room that looks towards back garden has been converted to dojo. So Friday I was going into the house from the garden, I wasn't eavesdropping, when I heard them talking. My husband was teaching him that "Bushido is the way of the dominant one" and how each of the principles effects the way one perceives his own dominance. He was talking about more than just martial arts code of honor. I'm still deciding how I feel about that.
Has anyone had similar experience?
And to keep up with the thread theme, clearly part of it is genetics. Its also interesting how "abuse support" thread has been placed in Submissive's, does that mean all Doms come from perfect nuclear families with no issues?

[leo9]

My husband isn't a chatterbox but we have an amazing communication, He will talk and discuss anything with me. And yet, when I try to pick his brain out, He goes all tight lipped and if I try to pull something out of Him...its exhausting, I tell you, lol. Not only does it feel like I'm trying to dig rocks, I sometimes get spanked for caring and taking trouble.

My wife says it's a man thing