full-time vs only in the bedroom

[Ruby]

I haven't seen a thread on this subject, and it's a question I've been thinking a lot about.

How many people restrict BDSM activities to the bedroom (or wherever they have sex), and how many keep playing the roles whenever they're with their partner? Is either way more common than the other?

Per http://www.sexresearch.org/

"To date, there have been very few thorough academic surveys of BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, & Sadism & Masochism) practitioners."

There is no clear answer to your question. Though, you may want to check out the website above that's trying to get more information.

A site like this doesn't have enough active members to provide a cross city, state, region or country sampling. Yet as you can see from the responses, what matters is what works for you and your partner(s).

I ask because, though I've never had a partner, I'm sure I would only enjoy that kind of relationship within the confines of sexual activity; if my boyfriend started ordering me around in any other context, I would be offended.

And yet, how many of us have thought the same thing, but found it very erotic or satisfying to have our D/S partner make gentle commands or practice the art of sensual domming and it spills out of the bedroom into the rest of our lives?

It's not always about sex, and for many its not about sex at all.

BDSM means means things to many people. Even the letters have dual meanings.

So, which do you prefer? What would you say are the pros and cons of each lifestyle?

Which do I prefer? It depends on my partner and our relationship.

The pros and cons? Again, that depends on the people in the relationship. What I might consider a con because of my personality type, another might consider a pro.

The more you explore, the more you realize that there are no hard and fast rules, no one dom or sub handbook, though we often joke about such things and there are guidebooks out there.

[Warbaby1943]

Per http://www.sexresearch.org/

It's not always about sex, and for many its not about sex at all.

BDSM means means things to many people. Even the letters have dual meanings.

So true that it is not always about sex. I pay for the joy of experiencing anything in the BDSM realm and never wanted it to involve sex in any manner. I think this also testifies to Ruby's second statement that I quoted above. In light of this I would have to say that it is neither in the bedroom or in everyday for me.

[Drake The Punisher]

I don't have the experience to speak personally, but my thoughts would be, it depends entirely on the individuals. I may or may not like a relationship of TPE. I wouldn't want to force a submissive to become involved in one if they weren't intereted, but if they liked the idea, I'd at least be willing to try. 24/7 seems to me (again, without any real experience, just some deduction and inference on my part) to be a difficult way to engage in a relationship...on the other hand, I'm not sure how many D/S couples keep their relationship completely in the bedroom either. I wouldn't be surprised that if the sub in 'strictly in the bedroom' relationship tended to defer to the dom's judgment outside the bedroom-but I wouldn't be shocked either way. Just my thoughts.


(Hi to anybody I haven't 'met' on the forums yet, I'm new)