Why hide?

[Cicily]

Icey: Thank you for the post. I enjoyed your "long-winded ramblings." Truthfully I don't care to have a D/s or "traditional" relationship with him anymore. There is too much history there (17 yrs) to even want to try. I just need to quit dicking around and make some decisions instead of letting guilt keep me in the marriage.

[silverfish]

Good luck. It is never going to be easy and I wish you all the best.

I hope that you can find a way to be happy and open in your life. If your life style and theirs are never going to meet then it is a choice that only you can make.

[Warbaby1943]

I just need to quit dicking around and make some decisions instead of letting guilt keep me in the marriage.

Nothing should "keep" you in a marriage but your wanting to be there and the love of your partner. Life is short and only you can decide how to live yours.

[icey]

^ well said!

good luck Cicily if thats how you feel then and you're very sure its what you want the it's probably the best thing for both of you.

[Tojo]

Icey: Thank you for the post. I enjoyed your "long-winded ramblings." Truthfully I don't care to have a D/s or "traditional" relationship with him anymore. There is too much history there (17 yrs) to even want to try. I just need to quit dicking around and make some decisions instead of letting guilt keep me in the marriage.

Actually that's a good point Cicily- it's hard to imagine after X amount of years marriage, going from a traditional role to a full-blown D/s thing. I sure wouldn't want it with my wife.

We have a pretty good arrangement- she looks after me like I'm a king, & asks permission to do stuff. I 'tell her off' for doing things I don't like- & support her when things get tough.

There's far too much emphasis on what is or isn't a D/s relationship- we all have to find our own path to follow in life.

Be sure & let us know how it goes- it's good to see people take charge of their lives & get what they want.

[TomOfSweden]

Icey: Thank you for the post. I enjoyed your "long-winded ramblings." Truthfully I don't care to have a D/s or "traditional" relationship with him anymore. There is too much history there (17 yrs) to even want to try. I just need to quit dicking around and make some decisions instead of letting guilt keep me in the marriage.

he he. If you've been with the same guy for 17 years and the sex still ain't working... well... then how could you possible feel guilty for leaving? He's not being manipulative by any chance? Or are you one of those who worry about everything?

[Cicily]

he he. If you've been with the same guy for 17 years and the sex still ain't working... well... then how could you possible feel guilty for leaving? He's not being manipulative by any chance? Or are you one of those who worry about everything?

There is more to marriage than non-existent orgasms. (Isn't that why God created fingers, vibrators, and hand-held showerheads? )

I feel guilty because he is my friend and I have been with him for half of my life. He is a good guy, just not good for me.

He is not manipulative, just very dependent on me for his stability and happiness. (No one can make you happy but yourself. I know this, he doesn't.) I have never been a worrier. I am laid back, loyal, outgoing, determined, and nuturing. I always take care of everyone around me. I guess that is another reason for the guilt. I don't want to take care of him anymore.

[jeanne]

There is more to marriage than non-existent orgasms. (Isn't that why God created fingers, vibrators, and hand-held showerheads? )

I feel guilty because he is my friend and I have been with him for half of my life. He is a good guy, just not good for me.

He is not manipulative, just very dependent on me for his stability and happiness. (No one can make you happy but yourself. I know this, he doesn't.) I have never been a worrier. I am laid back, loyal, outgoing, determined, and nuturing. I always take care of everyone around me. I guess that is another reason for the guilt. I don't want to take care of him anymore.

I think you're my twin. I'm in the same boat - the vanilla sex is fine, but he's not a Dom, so when he tries to get kinky on me, it feels wrong. Besides, "kinky" is not my thing - submission is.

For now I'm utilizing the "submission outside of my marriage" option. And no, he doesn't know. I have a very satisfying, very intense, very happy long-distance D/s relationship. We're fortunate that we're able to spend a few days or a week together every few months, and in-between we stay in touch on a daily basis. He is the perfect Dom for me. And I'm grateful for Him.

[stripedangel]

Icey: Thank you for the post. I enjoyed your "long-winded ramblings." Truthfully I don't care to have a D/s or "traditional" relationship with him anymore. There is too much history there (17 yrs) to even want to try. I just need to quit dicking around and make some decisions instead of letting guilt keep me in the marriage.

Sounds like you're only there because you can't find the strength to break his heart, luv. He sounds like a great guy. i can understand your quandry.

i have nothing to say at this time that might help your situation, mainly because i don't opinionate one way or another about whether anyone should or should not stay in a relationship...there's no one who can make that decision for you.

You are in my thoughts, hun. Keep us informed, and i'm sure we're all here to support whatever decision that you make for yourself.

xxxxx stripey