ive had that sadness and failure feeling a few times lol and im sure others have too so dont worry or feel bad about it need2please you havnt failed at all, and if you think about it as with anything one minute you're feeling great then the next you're doing something you dont like you're not going to be too happy lol

but if you dont like something especially when its some form of play where it is making you unhappy or you're not comfortable with then you should alway say so!
people talk of pushing limits, subs often feel they should do somethiing and worry about displeasing their Dom/me which is all well and good and everybody does it at some point but when its making you unhappy then your partner should learn to recognise that and make sure you are ok,
as always discuss discuss discuss! find out what went wrong, and if you cant come up with an alternative or way around it, then dont do that particular activity again...it's just not for you that all
Quote Originally Posted by Hime View Post

during: ioh shit this is intense. I'm really gone here. I'm in trouble...
this always feels a bit strange to me, you always know deep down that you are ok and ar'nt in trouble (if you dont then perhaps playing isnt such a good idea lol) but yet it still wont go away that ..oh shit feeling lol
i think some bdsm play is a bit of a headf**k and its not just the pain that causes the high,

maybe that thats one of the reason the drop occurs afterwards you've gone from being (sometimes) s**t scared, and then all of a sudden back to hugging reassurance ..chinese food kind of weird when you think about it.
Quote Originally Posted by Hime View Post
immediately after: okay, that wasn't real... everything's okay... we're all hugging and laughing and eating chinese food.
Let's just not think about that for a while...
the next day: wait, that really happened, didn't it? I was really vulnerable back there. How did I let that happen?! Is it going to happen again?
thinking about it is probably a good idea, you need to put your feelings into perspective both befoe duing (when thats possible) and most important of all afterwards.
when you've experienced such a 'trauma' which in a way is what it is,like anything else you need to deal with it and see if thee's a way of prevent it from happening again or at least a way of trying to minimise the effects rather than just tuck it away.

the eg i gave when a few days later i was back to 'normal' we discussed it and came up with the conclusion that for that particular type of play (ahell of lot of needles and blood letting was involved too lol) we would build up slowly rather than with other games where we like to jump straight in so to speak.
and we've done that each time since and even though the needles always without fail get me high it's never caused me to drop so badly again...maybe its coincidence but it does seem to work