Both thrall - if you don't ask because you're afraid of the answer that will be a constant sore as well. And the messenger should never be killed - lol.
Besides - if there is openness - then the reality ought to be that (as Tom said) even if you don't like the question - or the answer - at least it's in the open where together you can work on the issue to come to a place where both can live with the truth, however hard it is.






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