Age, not Age Play

[gemmy]

Tojo and Russell: I do agree that such an age difference does present its difficulties. For a brief time I was involved with a man 29 years my senior and although we had deep affection for each other none of us even bothered to pretend it could be a long term relationship.

I did want to add, however, that it falls just as much to the sub to have to recognize this as it does to the Dom. Master and I are split by 17 years and we have had the "age does work its wonders" conversation (as Sir Russell puts it). In all honesty, this will affect me more than it does Him as the years go by and I have had to put considerable thought into how I will handle this and how it will affect any children we may have. In the end, it is my love and my heart and I will give it to whom I choose and I have chosen to gift it to J-Go in exchange for His love and care as long as He is willing and able to provide it.

I am thankful every day He chose to know me instead of passing me over because of my age.

Amber, i've no idea how old you are and truly it matters not, you're an intelligent gurl and that is clearly evident in all your posts, you show an insight and maturity that is refreshing

i agree that the sub needs to accept responsibility in it as well but some younger ones wouldn't, and couldn't, even begin to know what that is and if they are sub relying on a Master, the chances of them really knowing without experiencing is even less - in that light, i have to agree more with Sir Russell in that the older, more experienced, Dominant needs to tread very carefully here and take the responsibility seriously in how he may affect and/or damage a young one.

[DowntownAmber]

Amber, i've no idea how old you are and truly it matters not, you're an intelligent gurl and that is clearly evident in all your posts, you show an insight and maturity that is refreshing

i agree that the sub needs to accept responsibility in it as well but some younger ones wouldn't, and couldn't, even begin to know what that is and if they are sub relying on a Master, the chances of them really knowing without experiencing is even less - in that light, i have to agree more with Sir Russell in that the older, more experienced, Dominant needs to tread very carefully here and take the responsibility seriously in how he may affect and/or damage a young one.

(Just for clarification's sake, I'm in my twenties.)

You're entirely correct gem, as were Tojo and Sir Russell. There are many many women (and men, for that matter) that "wouldn't and couldn't begin to know" what emotional maturity is, much less excercise it in the face of passion and desire and the unique chemistry in a D/s relationship. I suspct the nugget of semantics I was trying to unearth was that emotional maturity is not always attached to age, and that if a Dom can respect and love a woman enough to want to take her on as His sub, that I would hope He would consider her mature enough to decide for herself if the age difference is going to be a problem. If a Dom ever doubts a sub's ability to fully understand what she is getting into, I would hope He would not agree to take responsibility for her in the first place.

Of course, I am trying to put myself into a Dom frame of mind here to consider this, so any Dom's that would like to weigh in (again) I'd love to listen!

[Tojo]

Yeah I agree that there are 20 yr olds who are more mature than some in their 40s. Perhaps on the face of it, it could work between people so different in age.

But what a thing to do to someone so young- 'Is that your Dad, or Grandpa?' when you go out together. Imagine meeting each other's family & finding you're older than her father?? Will you ever have friends in common?

One day one of you will be 70 & a danger on the roads, while the other will be 40 or 50, still living life to the full.

I said to my girl right at the start, that I want to be 'part of your life, not your whole life' I said it could never work if we were together in person due to our age difference.

It might sound great to her- but I'm pushing 50 & she's in her early twenties. She ultimately needs someone her own age.

There are exceptions, but in general terms, a man on the wrong side of 40 needs to be very damn careful what he says to a 20 y/o.

Ask yourself if you really care- if you're a real Dom, you will love & cherish any girl you talk to- & not just for a few weeks....