A question for the female subs???

[Eponine]

It seems to me that most women are deep down sexually submissive they just don't pursue their fantasies or elaborate on them with all the trappings of bdsm but essentially they are submissive.

Though I don't think I have encountered as many Dommes as it sounds you have, sometimes I think the same thing, Lucyboy. For example, even the mistress I had last year, naturally dominant and practicing for 20 yrs (according to her), enjoyed being having her husband run things (but not to the extreme in a M/s way).

But, now that I think back- I will tell you that she did have a male submissive before me for a few years. From her descriptions of their time together, I believe she loved and was attracted to him very much. I don't think they had the wrestling-rough-and-tumble sex you want, but I believe they had sex. I remember her describing with admiration his strong, muscular body and the thrill of having power over it.

So... I read through your other thread and I wanted to offer some useful words.... or at least understanding.

I think, in a way, it is easier for me, as a female, to be submissive (in bed or out)- it fits more easily into an accepted vision of the female: weak, helpless, etc... So, I feel for you. I have met some Dommes who only "play" with male subs and it has nothing to do with sex ever.

I wish I had some advice for you... but I do believe, as I've stated here before, that everyone can find their fairy tale, as I (a generally cynical person) have found mine.

If you took bondage, bdsm the paraphernalia that goes with it and titles such as Master and slave out of the equation would you're sexual fantasies be that much different than most of you're vanilla friends??

To actually answer your question-
I can live without the material paraphernilia, although it's a lot of fun!
It would be impossible for me to take away "Master" and "slave" in a sexual or nonsexual fantasy about a relationship- I could take away the words, but never the concept.

So... I think my fantasies are much different and always have been (since I was 9)... I crave the domination and control from another so much, usually manifested and exerted in humiliating ways- that is my real turn-on-

to be made to verbalize that i am that person's slave, property, owned

to have a collar put on my neck

to be completely restrained helpless while the other person cums or pees on my body/ face

to be made to serve in nonsexual ways

For example- when I was 11, I had a fantasy that the teacher made me the slave of this one other popular girl. I had to clean her desk, carry her books, etc... whatever. There was nothing sexual to it, but that is what I orgasmed to.

to be denied orgasm, to wear a chastity belt

...just a few examples...

... so the answer is YES... i'm pretty sure my sexual fantasies (if sexual fantasies means fantasies that make you aroused and/ or orgasm) are very different from vanilla folks.

From your posts, I think of you as submissive in bed- not as an insult, or not that you should not be part of this or any other bdsm community, but that's just what I've gathered...

Honestly, I don't think Dommes/ Mistresses are where you want to go (from my little experience with them).

I would think you just want a pretty vanilla woman who wants to dominate in bed. I have heard of such things, I believe... ...

and for the record, I think you're allowed to have your standards for all facets of the person- physical, spiritual, intellectual, etc...

Because you're right- if that attraction is not there- or if you can't respect someone because they don't take care of their health or they can't put a sentence together (or whatever), the relationship will fail... been there...

but not anymore!! Yay!! mari loves her Master!! Happy Dance!!

sorry, this isn't about me... lol... anyway... hope to see more of your posts and how you're doing...