Red Alert Checklist

[PurpleKnight]

I'm not in the least offended, Phenyx. I feel that there is an unneeded rehashing of the same information and themes, however.

You don't need a checklist to raise a red flag when searching for a Dominant. The signs are very clear. One- lack of communication. Two- lack of respect over boundaries. Three- safety isn't a priority. Four- your needs and opinions are not valued.

My point is that everyone keeps telling you these things and we keep coming back at it from a different angle. You are over complicating things.

I appreciate that you are wanting to learn. What prompted my response, however, I am perplexed when you ask me or others for advice in private, are given an answer and proceed to come here and ask the same questions only to receive the same responses from others. I can drudge up about half a dozen threads where people have said the same things said in this one. Communication. Respect. Safety. If someone is telling you that you don't have the right to set limits? Lack of respect. Grabbing you when you get up to leave? Lack of safety. If you are in public, make a scene and then leave, not to contact the person again.

Edit: This information is also readily available throughout this entire forum. It has been repeated like a mantra, especially in pinned threads. The admins and mods here constantly stress that play should be safe and consensual, that communication needs to be a foundation for D/s or M/s relationships and that beyond that, the possibilities are only limited by your personal boundaries- which need to be respected.