Looking for advice

[just_ine]

I am truly sorry that you are disappointed, Iceweasel. Sometimes things go awry... and even if everything went well, the emotional impact might be greater than anticipated.

Might I suggest a lot of after care for both of you. Cuddling... hugging... touching. Nothing kinky... just reconnecting as a couple. The after effects of a scene that one or both partners found emotionally taxing can be damaging to the relationship but nothing says it HAS to be damaging. It is in how you care and protect her now that, I believe, true Dominance is shown. It is easy(ish)being forceful and in control. Something else being gentle and in control.

I don't think pushing her to discuss things right now is the right course of action. Cuddles...touches... assurances that she pleases you, simply by being. If you want to... mention That you want to discuss the scene and what worked and what didnt because you want to be better...do better...for you as a couple. But that there is no rush.

There are many many different ways of expressing one's need for kink. Just because mainstream, porn type scenes aren't her thing, doesn't mean it's the end of the line, it simply means it is your cue to start looking at ways that suits your specific needs as a couple.

Also... there are some really lovely couples here. Engage them in conversation. They surely have a lot of wisdom to share. Let me know if you need some help in finding them and I can direct you to their profiles.


One more thing... don't beat yourself up over this. Mistakes help us to learn. And learning what arouses you as a couple, is surely a worthwhile persuit.

Best of luck
Justine