have a question for the mistresses

[KandaceK]

how or where can i learn to do verbal humilation better? want to become better at this and painting a picture with words any ideas for me please thank you so much!

[Nikita]

Gosh, Kandacek...there's no Mistress Guide for Dummies or self-help guides that I know of. I searched the net, was given information, and had a domme friend look over my shoulder and still does if I need her to.

I'm no expert, in fact, not too experienced because I'm a switch. But, as in all things, use common sense.

• Learn about your playmate. What do they like and how do they respond when you do it?

• Test their limits carefully and slowly because you are playing a 'mind fuck' game.

• Assume you are a bottom, gauge how you'd feel when receiving verbal triggers of humiliation.

• As to painting a picture with words, close your eyes, visualize the scene, and write it down.

[KandaceK]

thank you for your suggestions! will use them!

[slb_b2000]

Help? I have been talking to my guy on the phone( as He is in NJ and I in Minnesota) for almost 3 months for hours at a time. the other day he told me something he did a yr ago and he thought I judged him for doing it , when me being a newbie, was just trying to absorb it. Now as a female we are so emotionally different and I was feeling jealous because we have not even been together yet and I tried to tell him it is hard to hear for me. What can I do to reassure him that I accept his past afterall I can not do anything about it. Help?

[CrimsonWineGlass]

While I am not a domme, I am a male. And I have had a very problemsome past that has caused me to loose many friends. My suggestion would be to say something like "Ya know when you were telling me about your past, Im glad it happened that way, who knows how you would have turned out without it?" It shows that you couldn't care less about what made him what he is, but you are glad that he is.