The Fascination of Rape

Rape in real life of either man or woman is a traumatic experience for the victim, in some cases this violation of privacy remains with the victim all of their life. I know of one person that I have spoken to that is the latter, so much so that when speaking to the male sex she is talking and standing as if in retreat if you understand what I mean.

I have read a few Male Dom books of late, and that in itself is a surprise, because I try not to read other peoples works in case it influences me in my books. I have also been reading a lot of reader’s letters in Magazines and posts in forums where i get a lot of my story ideas.

The thing that surprises me is the fact that so many women write about a fantasy of being raped. The female writers of the books are very explicit of the facts that they wish to tell you. There are women in the forums that have [on the request, their husbands and boyfriends have set up real life scenarios] which I might add I think dangerous. Just to point out a big fault here is a link to pure stupidity.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation-a...454,full.story


Here in the Library was a discussion on the very same subject, to all that might want to give their fantasies realistic value read both.


http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...m-rape-scandal

There are also the ones that just fantasise about being abducted and either raped or gangbanged. I know that there are very safe scenes in the BDSM relationships of rape and abuse. All of this brings me to my question.

What is the fascination, and why do women fantasise about being used in this way?

Regards IAN 2411{lillirose}

Speaking as a victim or sexual assault, it is a disgusting and horrific thing for someone to go through. Its degrading and painful and its not something you ever get over completely.

That being said, I used to and occasionally still have fantasies about it. Its about the complete lack of control for me. That and its kind of like therapy for me too. If I put myself into a controllable situation where I am basically replaying events but I can make them stop... it helps me. Not sure about how it works for people who havent been assaulted before...

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Originally Posted by IAN 2411{lillirose}

What is the fascination, and why do women fantasise about being used in this way?

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With such a broad question, you'll no doubt receive generalized answers....

For me personally, I enjoy rape fantasy. The fascination could be the pure taboo of it. Could be the loss of all control. Could be that even though we all know and appreciate the importance of safety and limits and soforth, rape (not a set-up play rape) is NOT safe and it's not pretty or controlled or set up in any way. It's ugly and raw and terrifying and those things have a draw.

Do I advocate rape? Absolutely NOT. This (for me) is a fantasy only. I'm not sure if I could handle a play-rape; I've never tried.

For me, the fantasy is with one person only... I trust my Master completely 100% so the fantasy is safe with Him. For all intents and purposes it is a very intense sex scene that may involve no holds barred fighting back on my part but knowing real true hurt or emotional scars would never happen. "Rape" may not be the correct term for it but it is most often used.

In real life scenarios with someone i do not know and speaking as a past rape survivor, I get very edgy and do not trust strangers that seem to be following me around or looking at me odd - especially guys. I have had guys follow me around stores, follow me around on my lunch break, come into my work place for the purpose of trying to find out personal info about me, follow me from one store to the other, etc. This never fails to worry me and freak me out when it happens, sometimes it is in my head but several times through the years it has been a very scary situation to me to have the same guy repeatedly show up in various places for no reason other than i happen to be there.

Would i ever want to relive the rape that happened no, never. While i was lucky and suffered no bodily harm other than violation it took years to be able to even talk about it and face the fact that i was not at fault.

I am a victim of sexual assault. I have the fantasies though, but i guess in my head i dont see it as "rape". (if that makes sense)
Let me explain a bit more. When rape happens it is uncontrolled and it is horrible to go through or even think about going through. whether or not it happens by someone you know ro a stranger, it is not wanted and not asked for in any way shape or form.
But the fantasy for me would start off as not knowing when it was going to happen, BUT the main difference is, if it happened and i wasnt in a safe place, the safeword would stop it immediately. And I would trust my Master 100% to stop it there and then.

I guess you could put it down to wanting to pass 99% of control over to my Master, but my 1% of control, the safeword, is the thing that would stop the rape play scene in a heartbeat.

for me i like having no control and the thought of the men getting pleasure from my body. being so desireable that they force me is a big turn on. at the same time, i would like to know and trust the men doing this to me.

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Originally Posted by IAN 2411

What is the fascination, and why do women fantasise about being used in this way?

Regards IAN 2411{lillirose}

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ok i will say it is not just women that fantasise about being raped i dont get it my self but for long time i have fantasise about but i'm not gay i think just the power thing that has be said befor or some thing esl i just dont know and it my be a fantasise but it dont seem nice in any way i look at it

Standard disclaimer: Real rape, when a person is forced to have sex against their will is always wrong.

What is that fascination of rape?

I think there are a few different things going on that make the fantasy appealing. Of course I'm not qualified to make a scientific, exhaustive list, nor even to prove my hunches. They're just hunches, but here it goes.

The social pressure to be chaste packs a big wallop. Women are mammals, a species that perpetuates the species by sexual reproduction. So the evolutionarily sound assumption is that most women want to have sex to perpetuate the species. So despite the social pressure to believe otherwise women want to have sex.

(Of course people reading this article might have attained a greater degree of liberation from cultural mores, and might not see it this way, but by and large, despite the 60s, despite feminism: Women and girls in the cultures I've lived in still feel that to be sexual, or to invite sexual encounters is immoral --or as it might more likely be expressed-- slutty, skanky, dirty, loose, tease, flirt or whore.)

But even though women are biologically programmed to have sex the overwhelming mandate of society is that only bad women want to have sex. (Which really means all women are bad, which perhaps explains the blame Eve takes in Biblical "scholarship," or the clothing restrictions of many Islamic sects.) Only a woman who is immoral would want to intice a man to have sex. That's the message and since many of us want to fit and and be loved, we fall for it, even though it's illogical and insane.

So how can a woman safely have sex without being immoral? Well if she had sex against her will than she would be innocent of the crime of trying to have sex. But of course people don't want to be raped because this interferes with the desire to survive. So what's a girl to do?

Well it's pretty safe to fantasize about being raped. But you might want to step it up, so maybe you can get your boyfriend o play out the fantasy with you. You know full well the whole time you are in no danger of being killed or seriously harmed --maybe a luxurious after-glow of chaffed and sore, but not maimed. Everyone gets laid! It's a happy ending.

It seems kind of silly that this kind of simple mind game could work, but it seems to be rather effective. What I mean by saying it's silly is: It's obvious since you both talked about it that it isn't rape. And moreover, if the woman brought it up than she is propositioning someone for sex, which violates the whole idea of avoiding the shame of being sexual!

If we extrapolate this thinking out you just might end up joining BDSM web sites and searching for that perfect Dom/Domme. Because now you'll need to be punished for being so sexual! And then we have a big ball of fun!

For me, I really don't think it is about avoiding shame, because of the situations that lead to the playout of this fantasy, and the rest of our lives together. I'm just not shamed by asking for sex at other times, that's all right with me. But still, the fantasy rape is exciting, it has a thrill of danger but not real danger. Like riding a roller coaster. Any pain involved is pretty minor, not like black eye/bloody nose/broken bones type stuff. And as he says "Your pathetic struggles to escape excite me".

For myself, it is the loss of control that attracts me. To have my submission forcibly taken from me and having no control over stopping it is one of my biggest kinks, so rape play goes right along with that. I can fight back and resist to my heart's content without having to worry about stepping on toes or being a "good girl."

However, that being said... I would NEVER set up a rape scenario with a stranger. My ex-bf wanted to do a "surprise" rape scene where he'd wear a mask and attack me when I didn't know it was him and I told him if he ever did that I would charge him with rape. I am attracted to the romanticized version of rape (if you could put romanticized and rape in the same sentence...) where, even though I'm being "raped," it is still pleasurable for me and within my boundaries. I am not, however, attracted to the emotional trauma that has scarred so many people. I know I would be very badly affected if I were ever raped in real life, even if it was revealed to me afterwards that it was my bf/Dom/whoever I was comfortable with. Because even when I want to lack control, I still want the control of knowing who I'm placing my trust in and that they would never really hurt me and that they genuinely cared about me.

When it comes down to it, the majority of people who fantasize about rape don't really want to be raped. They want to /pretend/ to be raped. Real rape is a horrible, tragic thing and no one should ever have to go through it. : (

And that's my two cents on the subject.

I totally agree. There is a world of difference between fantasising about rape and actual rape, they are polar opposites. Real rape is not sexual for the victim in any way shape or form, it comes from a place of anger and hate and violence and is tragic and can be soul destroying. I think the difference boils down to consent. The act of rape is based in hate, fantasies and role playing come from a place which if not based in love should at least be based around mutual consent and understanding. When women Fantasise about rape, while they may not be in control of the situation in their fantasies, they have ultimate control of when the fantasy starts and ends and that is an important distinction.

My first kinky lover gave herself away by getting turned on when I held her down when we kissed, and was over the moon when I grabbed her and tied her down for sex. But, one time when I woke up horny and started to shove her legs apart, she woke up fighting and nearly injured me before she was awake enough to know where she was.

She'd hung out with bikers and had to defend herself before. If I had been really trying to rape her, I'd probably have had to go looking for my balls. A memorable lesson on the difference between fantasy and reality.