prolonged restraints.

I recently had an interesting experience of being collared and bound in a Masters bed whilst he slept. it wasn't for a whole night (as he had fetched me quite late) and it wasn't unmolested which made it much easier. but with my arms cuffed behind my back i found it very uncomfortable and had problems with my arms going to sleep and being quite painful in a very unpleasant manner. not wanting to displease him or let my self down. i endured as best as i could and refused in myself to ask him to release me.

once he had woken up and played with me a little he had me restrained in his house for 4 hours with my wrist attached to my ankles while he went to work. although far less uncomfortable i did not enjoy being left alone and felt abandoned especially as when he came back he had me showered and fed and then sent home. i felt like i had done something wrong.
I haven't known him long and this was only my second experience with him and i haven't had any prior experience. is it normal to go through so many emotional ranges?

I understand what you mean about feeling abandoned, but perhaps you could explain this to him. I have to say the idea of being bound and laying next to my master all night is tooooo hot for words, but then I think he would be more inclined to show a little affection afterwards rather than just send me home - perhaps talking this over with your master would help. As the relationship is quite new, you should make your feelings known and then you can both progress along the same path.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rachaelhayley

I recently had an interesting experience of being collared and bound in a Masters bed whilst he slept. it wasn't for a whole night (as he had fetched me quite late) and it wasn't unmolested which made it much easier. but with my arms cuffed behind my back i found it very uncomfortable and had problems with my arms going to sleep and being quite painful in a very unpleasant manner. not wanting to displease him or let my self down. i endured as best as i could and refused in myself to ask him to release me.

once he had woken up and played with me a little he had me restrained in his house for 4 hours with my wrist attached to my ankles while he went to work. although far less uncomfortable i did not enjoy being left alone and felt abandoned especially as when he came back he had me showered and fed and then sent home. i felt like i had done something wrong.
I haven't known him long and this was only my second experience with him and i haven't had any prior experience. is it normal to go through so many emotional ranges?

---

The emotions are usual in that sort of situation.

I'm surprised he bound you with your wrists behind you overnight - especially since you haven't been together long (at least I assume that from the tone of your post). That posture can lead to issues - and if he doesn't know your bodily responses (and doesn't seem to if he wasn't aware of your discomfort) you can suffer harm. He would likely find more satisfaction - and it would be easier on you - if he chained/bound you in a semi-spread posture which allows you some movement.

Leaving you chained while he's out is damned dangerous - what happens if there's a fire?

Sigh - if you are uncomfortable - talk to him - communication is vital. And that goes for both physical and mental discomfort

No i have only met him twice up to yet and i think my continuous movement made him aware i was uncomfortable though maybe not how uncomfortable i really was. and although it was over night it was at most 5 hours.
Thank you for your concern and i am sure had there been a really issue with for example a fire whilst he was out i would have found away out of the restraint but i didn't really look for one at the time the position he left me in was much more bearably than whilst in bed and i did have some range of movement i was more distressed by lack of attention i think (that makes me sound terrible)

thank you again and i will try to be more open with him in future about my feelings both physiacl and mental.

You can suffer from nerve damage if the restraints pinch, which is rather common if you are lying down on your arms bound behind your back. Also, being left alone while in bondage is irresponsibly dangerous.

You need to communicate--especially in a new relationship, the two of you need to discuss things. Until he knows your physical reactions, he needs to be told when you're suffering or scared and what you're feeling about your interactions.

My Mistress keeps me bound most every night. If I was this uncomfortable or if my arms were going to sleep and I didn't tell Her of my discomfort I would be punished to no end. We both enjoy bondage very much but do find a way to keep it safe. As far as being bound while She is away She always leaves me an out. If the house caught on fire I might be naked and collared but atleast I could get out!

I LOVE bondage. I sleep in my wrist and ankle cuffs occasionally. But, I never sleep bound or restricted in anyway. It just isn't safe. You could sleep for hours on a limb that has been 'asleep' and cause damage. The furthest I think I'd take any type of bondage if he wasn't home, is a body harness or crotch rope of some kind. And even then, I'd have clarified the rules before hand that if something became too uncomfortable I could remove it. I don't mean, I just don't like it, I mean painful chafing or something that would cause damage.

If I had a limb or something go to sleep while playing or just in bondage and I didn't tell my Master right away, he'd be beyond disappointed in me. He trusts me fully to always communicate that with him. He can't read my mind or know exactly how I feel physically. He expects me to tell him. If something he did made me feel poorly emotionally and I didn't tell him straight away... we've had this situation and he was very hurt. I won't do that to him again.

Thank you to everyone that has replied i feel much better about this subject now and will be talking more openly with my Dom in future.

FYI its as Eury mentioned it isvery dangerous to leave a girl unattended while she is restrainned in such fashion Rach.

Safty first kinky second, warning bells went off all over when i read the first post.

having spoken to my Dom, i thought it best to reassure everyone who has expressed some concern, what my was not told to me until recently was that he was watching pretty much the whole time thank you for your advise and i have found that talking is very very important. i feel much better about everything now and less confused im so glad i came here to share.

I'll tell you something to me, that happened very recently. My master was punishing me for something that I done (we are online D/s) and he had me put a padlock around my balls for 24 hours. He said that if I took it off I would get an even worse punishment. So I endured the punishment, which it really hurt because of the metal rubbing against my skin.

Now I have peeled skin parts in my skin, even part of it bled the other night. What should I do about this so it doesn't happen again? Expecially if I can't talk to my master all the time? I mean, i would have taken it off when it first started to really hurt but I really didn't want to disappoint him, what should I do?

Again SAFTEY FIRST!

If a dominant were to order one to do somthing that will damage one in such a fashion the submissive in question should imediately say somthing. If its a situation where being unsafe wasnt foreseen (which if the dominant did their homework should be very rare or shouldnt occur very often, ) the submissive needs to be aware that when the dominant fails in his or her responsibility ie drops the ball etc in keeping things safe that the submissive must stand up, take responsibility for oneself and take protective measures. As far as following online commands, smh, you should allways really think those through way before you do them, most online doms are notorious for expecting subs to do things that the dom in question actually put little if any common sence thinking into, which leads to lots of avoidable bad times.

I agree, a dom/me has the duty to care for their sub (before during and after the exquisitely awful parts)

My Master cuffs me at night and makes me sleep at her feet. I am not to touch her unless told to do so and this keeps me out of trouble. During the early evening she locks me in the stockade for hours at a time to prevent me from playing arround. If I am not locked up she assumes that I playing with myself and I am whipped for that. The time spent in the stockade on all fours is for her pleasure, so that she can take me any time she wants to and I am always ready for a good mounting. I try moving arround as much as possible to keep my wrist from falling asleep, but the way she anchors me down prevents much movement. All in all I am happy to be able to please my Master in every way she sees fit and probably deserve every whipping I have gotten.

I am a strong advocate for communication! The minute something feels dangerous, or you become concerned about damage or problems, you need to express it...immediately.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wolfpup

I'll tell you something to me, that happened very recently. My master was punishing me for something that I done (we are online D/s) and he had me put a padlock around my balls for 24 hours. He said that if I took it off I would get an even worse punishment. So I endured the punishment, which it really hurt because of the metal rubbing against my skin.

Now I have peeled skin parts in my skin, even part of it bled the other night. What should I do about this so it doesn't happen again? Expecially if I can't talk to my master all the time? I mean, i would have taken it off when it first started to really hurt but I really didn't want to disappoint him, what should I do?

---

The problem with online BDSM is that the dominant is not there monitoring the situation directly and there is always a delay in communication between sub and Dom. For this reason, while in online relationships, I usually consider it wise to have some form of clause which states: if the sub feels that they are in an unsafe situation they should feel empowered to take the required steps to be safe.

Any Dominant will not begrudge an action which ensures their sub's safety and well being. As a Dominant in this situation you have to ask yourself 'if I saw this in a face to face session, would I end the session?' as a sub, you have to ask 'in a face to face session, would I safeword?'

Another thing to consider, if you ended up in hospital (for any reason) and therefore had to have the padlock removed, do you think your Master would punish you for something beyond your control?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by fetishdj

The problem with online BDSM is that the dominant is not there monitoring the situation directly and there is always a delay in communication between sub and Dom. For this reason, while in online relationships, I usually consider it wise to have some form of clause which states: if the sub feels that they are in an unsafe situation they should feel empowered to take the required steps to be safe.

Any Dominant will not begrudge an action which ensures their sub's safety and well being. As a Dominant in this situation you have to ask yourself 'if I saw this in a face to face session, would I end the session?' as a sub, you have to ask 'in a face to face session, would I safeword?'

Another thing to consider, if you ended up in hospital (for any reason) and therefore had to have the padlock removed, do you think your Master would punish you for something beyond your control?

---

Yeah, I knew it'd kind of be slower. And at the time, I was so....I don't know the word. I was trying so hard to please him that I didn't see the danger until afterwords >.> I've also got to say that that dom isn't my dom anymore....We had a bit of an argument, and it wasn't pretty. But I got a new dom, and he's a lot more careful with me, especially since of what's happened before.

Well, I know if I'd gone to the hospital I think it would have been allowed. Especially with my new master it would have been allowed if it was anything. Speaking of which (not trying to get off topic, but..) I actually had to go to the hospital this last Wednesday. One of my testes was inflamed, causing great amounts of pain, but I don't think that's from what happened, because it was so long ago. But yeah, I have to take pills... I hate pills.

I would have defiantly used the safeword....

Having moved in with Master and our Dam, It's been an eye-opening experience in terms of Master's dedication to safety, but also the man's deviousness in inventiveness.
Overnight restraints here consist of a body stocking covering one up to the neck, legs and hips exposed asid from the fabric covering one's crotch. The ends of the sleeves are sewn closed and reinforced up to the elbows.
With Hospital-issue Posey restraint mitts put on you, then the bodystocking over that...you're 'free'--but incredibly helpless.
A very deceptive restraint. ;)
So much so that one can easily forget all about such, head into the bathroom, and only when one tries to open the crotch snaps or do anything else needing one's hands that you remember you're restrained.
Which is also somewhat frustrating!! :D

That said, I have learned that when one or all of us are sleeping in restraints, he stays up--watching over us. It's a new and nice thing, waking up, seeing him in the upholstered chair in the bedroom, reading or working, and knowing that all the time one was asleep...he was There, keeping us safe.
Unknown to me until recently, he checks on us also, looking at limb positions and checking pulse-point locations/circulation. Deftly enough from long practice that he doesn't disturb us.

The household's fire-suppression capacity was years ago brought to very high levels, as our Dam is a touch Pyrophobic, and when Master learned that, he made the house more reassuring with in-built, redundant, fire suppression systems.
Also, it's NOT hard to find a fire extinguisher around here and the alarm system is perhaps not the most expensive, but it is the highest rated and Redundant. :D

I sleep better here than I have in years, and I've always had trouble getting quality sleep.

Wanda your sleeping restraints sound like fun. And safe!
I like beeing restained for some legth of time very much but I can imagine so many awful things happening..

To the dominants: Keep it safe!
I have learned over time that you have to go slow with restraints that should be worn over night. if you bind someones feet together you start out leaving them 30cm of movement, pulling them closer every night because otherwise the submissive won´t get much sleep and quality sleep is essential (even more so if you have at some point suffered from a depression), The same with hands.
In bed leather cuffs are more practical than ropes as those can find their way somewhere they were not meant to go if not tied properly, a submissive can get tangled in them in a way you don´t want them to be.
If the submissive wakes and is uncomfortable, they should be able to talk about it to their master or to take the restraints off themselves. Restraints in sleep that they will get out of themselves can still reinforce their submission, feeling of belonging, of giving the ability to move as one wants to ones dom.

Every bondage that is meant not to hinder movement but to create sensation, such as a crotchropes are usually more likely to chafe and bound balls or breasts often bound tighter than movement restriction and should be left for waking state. If you want a submissive kept awake and wanting you there are other ways such as buttplugs, vibrating eggs and so on that will not hinder bloodflow anywhere. Also you are not able to observe the hot and bothered state of a submissive while you are asleep so its not only reasonable but also fun to stay awake while a struggling submissive tries to find peaceful sleep while hot and bothered. and you can still make slight changes before you go to sleep..

So have fun and take care!
Deigja

There is a perception mentioned in earlier posts that I simply don't understand and which is really concerning.

To decide not to safeword because I want to please Him/Her and feel I don't want to disappoint Him is quite simply Not my decision to make!

If I am instructed that I should tell Him if I am uncomfortable... My duty is to obey... Deciding to keep quiet is simple disobedience. This Is Not about MY will, but His. Often this discomfort was His plan all along and things continue.

When that moves closer to the point of not being able to handle something, I must tell Him, if I am able to (not gagged or deep in subspace) Once again, I may not simply decide to keep quiet. It is not within the scope of my authority in the relationship.

Any Dominant worthy of your submission will be concerned for your safety when playing.
And believe me, even online.
In fact, online, the good Dominants will give you an out. They won't want to cause harm.

I am glad for the OP that the Dominant was in fact watching over her, but being restrained without supervision shouldn't happen.

When I just came into BDSM there was a case that made National news of a woman who was restrained and left alone for only a short time. She vomited, choked and died. It is an unsafe practice to be left alone. Period.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by deigja

Wanda your sleeping restraints sound like fun. And safe!
I like beeing restained for some legth of time very much but I can imagine so many awful things happening..

To the dominants: Keep it safe!
I have learned over time that you have to go slow with restraints that should be worn over night. if you bind someones feet together you start out leaving them 30cm of movement, pulling them closer every night because otherwise the submissive won´t get much sleep and quality sleep is essential (even more so if you have at some point suffered from a depression), The same with hands.
In bed leather cuffs are more practical than ropes as those can find their way somewhere they were not meant to go if not tied properly, a submissive can get tangled in them in a way you don´t want them to be.
If the submissive wakes and is uncomfortable, they should be able to talk about it to their master or to take the restraints off themselves. Restraints in sleep that they will get out of themselves can still reinforce their submission, feeling of belonging, of giving the ability to move as one wants to ones dom.

Every bondage that is meant not to hinder movement but to create sensation, such as a crotchropes are usually more likely to chafe and bound balls or breasts often bound tighter than movement restriction and should be left for waking state. If you want a submissive kept awake and wanting you there are other ways such as buttplugs, vibrating eggs and so on that will not hinder bloodflow anywhere. Also you are not able to observe the hot and bothered state of a submissive while you are asleep so its not only reasonable but also fun to stay awake while a struggling submissive tries to find peaceful sleep while hot and bothered. and you can still make slight changes before you go to sleep..

So have fun and take care!
Deigja

---

They're the kind that have you admiring the deviousness of the design, and swearing under your breath about the same. :D As for safe, VERY.
You make some Excellent points I must say!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by deigja

Wanda your sleeping restraints sound like fun. And safe!
I like beeing restained for some legth of time very much but I can imagine so many awful things happening..

To the dominants: Keep it safe!
I have learned over time that you have to go slow with restraints that should be worn over night. if you bind someones feet together you start out leaving them 30cm of movement, pulling them closer every night because otherwise the submissive won´t get much sleep and quality sleep is essential (even more so if you have at some point suffered from a depression), The same with hands.
In bed leather cuffs are more practical than ropes as those can find their way somewhere they were not meant to go if not tied properly, a submissive can get tangled in them in a way you don´t want them to be.
If the submissive wakes and is uncomfortable, they should be able to talk about it to their master or to take the restraints off themselves. Restraints in sleep that they will get out of themselves can still reinforce their submission, feeling of belonging, of giving the ability to move as one wants to ones dom.

Every bondage that is meant not to hinder movement but to create sensation, such as a crotchropes are usually more likely to chafe and bound balls or breasts often bound tighter than movement restriction and should be left for waking state. If you want a submissive kept awake and wanting you there are other ways such as buttplugs, vibrating eggs and so on that will not hinder bloodflow anywhere. Also you are not able to observe the hot and bothered state of a submissive while you are asleep so its not only reasonable but also fun to stay awake while a struggling submissive tries to find peaceful sleep while hot and bothered. and you can still make slight changes before you go to sleep..

So have fun and take care!
Deigja

---

For those curious about what Wanda's referring to, here's some visual aids.

Take this and modify as Wanda mentioned:

Attachment 50515

Put these on the wearer before putting her in the above:

Attachment 50516Attachment 50517

Net result...safe sleeping restraint rompers.