Is this a preference or something else?

Printable View

11-15-2008
voxelectronica

Is this a preference or something else?

When a Dom and I end our relationship I end up feeling GREAT the next day. I feel like i can do anything and world is my oyster! I run off into the world looking for adventure and what not and look back at times missing the sex.

When a sub and I end our relationship i feel like shit. I feel like I've lost my world and my connection to it. Like I'm lost.

I can talk about the first Dom I had, the connection we shared. I can do it without crying.

I can not talk about my first sub without breaking down into tears, getting drunk, singing some Irish song of sorrow.

Is this a preference or do i just CARE more for my subs than I do my Doms? Do other switches feel the same way?
11-16-2008
craven

I honestly think it depends on the connection, it does for me anyway, i have only really ever served one and i know that the connection is very very strong, i feel totally owned i would be very much lost without here so i may well feel worse about losing my Domma than i have say over losing a sub. either way for me i have to really know, trust and respect the other so ending a relationship is going to have its low points and feelings of loss and remorse i am sure.
11-17-2008
voxelectronica

I know that this may come as a shock so please, brace yourself.

I've had multiple Doms and subs and this is always the case.

I've also noticed that I don't long to have a Dom. Though I love my time with I don't come home and think "hrmmmm I would totally love a Dom right now". I do think that about subs.
11-18-2008
craven

though braced, i did not feel as shocked as perhaps your statement had led me to believe i might perhaps be ..... hmmmmmmm

food for thought indeed you obviously sound like a switch that is very much toward the dominant end of the spectrum, or maybe has yet to find that connection with a dom that changes your perspective.

there could be many ways to explain how you feel, i am at a loss as to why i feel the way i do in relation to people, some i feel dominant to, others submissive, there is no hard and fast rule.

do you think that domming a sub provides you as a individual with something that you need or seek and that as a submissive you dont obtain from your Ds relationships then?

We are all different, which is the true wonder of it all, and the beauty of being able to switch
11-18-2008
voxelectronica

Frankly, I'm shocked that you are not shocked!

This does take some more thought. I think you are right though.
11-19-2008
thir

Quote:

Originally Posted by voxelectronica

When a Dom and I end our relationship I end up feeling GREAT the next day. I feel like i can do anything and world is my oyster! I run off into the world looking for adventure and what not and look back at times missing the sex.

When a sub and I end our relationship i feel like shit. I feel like I've lost my world and my connection to it. Like I'm lost.

...
Is this a preference or do i just CARE more for my subs than I do my Doms? Do other switches feel the same way?

Sounds like a preference to me. After all, many of us are not fifty-fifty powershifters, but do tend to lean to one side or the other.

Maybe your dom side is more profound, and the sub side more playful?